As we all know, such cases happen everywhere. There is a certain type of men, and it probably takes Uncle Freud to figure out whether they become like this due to low self-esteem and desperation, or mere arrogance. They can be recognised by arrogant belief (perhaps wishful thinking) that they are deadly attractive, overflowing self-confidence, emphasis on sexuality to show themselves that they can achieve something in life, and disrespect for women (let alone their right to withdraw consent at any moment). They do not necessarily behave this way all their lives, and in their natural environment can be perhaps very shy. But in certain situations they start feeling that they have every right to gender-based humiliation of another human being. In spoken English I generally use a much stronger term to refer to them, but for the sake of politeness let's use the common feminist slang - MCP (male chauvinist pig). Especially because we are talking about the Middle East.

As we all know, MCP-ism does not know ethnicity or religion. What makes Israel special in this respect? Israel is a country with prevailing Middle Eastern cultural attitudes and behaviour, but also European standard of living. The particular mix of such qualities as good climate, situation in the region, advanced technology and good education make the country attractive to quite a few foreign students, volunteers and globetrotters. Add Jewish migration - every person with at least one Jewish grandparent can have immediate access to citizenship. So Israelis are very used to foreigners from various cultures coming to the country every year, struggling with the language and the lifestyle, finding that Israel is perhaps more, less, or something totally different than they had expected. Exposure to foreign cultures is a double-edged sword: it both allows more inter-cultural learning (Israelis on average knew where Lithuania is better than many Europeans that I met during my Erasmus semester), as well as forming of stereotypes. Of course, the transnational stereotype of Eastern European women being 'easy' and Eastern European men being permanently drunk aggressive machos, who supposedly produce an if-he-beats-me-means-he-loves-me culture in women, is very much there. Lost and confused foreigners are a usual sight, which some evil-minded locals try to exploit. I was told that nothing is sexier to young Israeli men than to meet recent female Jewish newcomers (olot chadashot), presumably naive, confused, but enthusiastic and Zionistically charged (the attitude is "Let me help you integrate into the Israeli society. Lie down here"). In addition, many men of the MCP type are also happy to make use of non-Jewish students, volunteers, etc, who strive to belong - something that Israel won't give them easily. Men of the MCP type from the Arab minority have similar attitudes - "us" and "them". Sweet and chaste Muslim girls are to be kept when the time comes to settle down, while other women are meant for fun. I guess it works similarly with Christian Arab men of the MCP type.

In addition, serving in the army makes a profound impact on young Israelis' sexuality. All men and all women, except Arabs, have to serve, unless they are ill or have personality disorders. There are some conscientious objectors - I met one guy who took pride in telling he only spent one day in the army - he received his uniform and then carved 'freedom' on his forearm. He was taken to a doctor and immediately dispatched. But those are few, and most young people end up in the army, either fighting in real conflicts or servicing the huge military bureaucracy. The army for many is a state of permanent stress and a mixture of power (holding a gun) and submission (obeying orders). Men are given the power to recreate themselves as classical macho, following abundant 'role models', while women, given power but not full equality, often try to prove themselves - and become more ruthless torturers. At the same time, psychological pressure, taking part in a real vicious conflict and confusion of the young age produce a craving for being close to other people. Some find sincere friendship. While others experiment with their sexuality. The army is where young people often taste same-sex relationships, even if they never considered it before (I have never met so many bisexuals anywhere in the world). The army is where casual, shallow encounters are a normal practice (it's called "going on a night watch together").

Many women often feel empowered by having access to all this force that the army provides. This also translates into their communication with men ("I can assemble a shotgun, and you still want to walk me home for safety?"). Young people learn to be aggressive - to make aggressive passes and to reject aggressively (which gives a feeling of power, but when it becomes a social norm, men start to think they must simply be more insistent). While women are empowered (or, to twist the word, enforced) in some ways, the society is still far away, as Dahlia Scheindlin writes, from accepting the right attitudes, acknowledging that men and women are first of all human beings rather than gendered objects. Serving in the army puts young people under lots of pressure, which, unfortunately, drains them of empathy, by compartmentalising love and compassion to only the closest (at best "the nation"). Even those who work in bureaucratic structures are in some way a part of the all-encompassing conflict. It's not just about learning to run and lie in ditches - anyone can be requested to interrogate and detain actual people, if not kill or defend with a gun. I really don't believe in 'genetic' cultural mentalities - much is produced by the conditions in which people live.

It is quite likely that, against this background, 'pick-up' schools thrive from those who are scared of not quite matching their ideal of a macho. Such schools, which treat women as objects which can be manipulated, further drains respect for fellow human beings. Nonetheless, I believe that a guy like that pervert who raped the Czech student would be more easily identified and properly handled by most Israeli women, who know how to kick ass and assemble an M-16. Therefore he chose a foreigner for his scummy 'practice' and exploited the local's advantage. "That's how we do it here - don't be afraid, we are simply warm and hot-blooded" - this story is familiar to me as well. I spent eight months in Israel, and I know that recently-arrived foreigners, who are being bombarded with cultural difference every day, may sink into a state of half-dream (remember, we can do everything in our dreams except feel surprised). There's too much to be surprised about, so in the end you just go with the flow, fearing that you will never connect to people if you don't learn their ways. Sometimes you get awarded for taking risks, sometimes, as it happened to this Czech medical student, life teaches you a cruel lesson. As expats, we want to meet new people, make friends and get attention from people of the gender that interests us, and subsequently lower our threshold of tolerance for the locals. But I would still like to warn young expat women that in any case they must defend themselves. I think I don't have to remind you basic rules that every conscious individual should know:

  • NEVER get into strangers' cars or go to their apartments.
  • Never get drunk or agree to use drugs when alone with a 'sticky' stranger.
  • Never be too kind or polite to 'sticky' guys who don't seem to respect you.
  • Always be clear about what you don't want - you always, until the very last moment, have a right to withdraw whatever real or presumed consent you have given, and culture is no excuse not to respect that.
  • If someone is being arrogant and pushy with you, try treating him as a child, but not in a gentle manner, rather, looking down on him and showing you are so unimpressed.
  • If it doesn't help, shout at him, but attention - no 'feminine' screaming! It's best to roar in the lowest-pitched voice possible and say something rude so that it looks that you really mean it.
  • If his words turn to action and you are approached physically, defend immediately. If you are standing and he tries taking you in his arms, some easy strategies that do not require much force are: punching his glasses (if he wears them - not so typical for the MCP type of men), or placing your hand on his face and strongly pressing the eyes (helps even if he has already embraced you - eyes are very sensitive and not so much momentum is needed). If the threat of violence is imminent and you can't help but be violent too, it's advisable to dislocate his knee cap with the outer side of your foot, hit his thyroid with your elbow, or do the classical kick that men fear (aim from the bottom, not from the front) :) Look for self-defense tips on youtube. While most tricks evaporate under stress, it is good to know some basic things that don't require too much force, but may produce strong pain to the perpetrator.
So basic rules apply everywhere, but there are some specific tips from me as someone who has lived in Israel (and survived many annoying passes):
  • Remember, if he is enjoying 'local's advantage', the best way to strike a blow at his confidence is to... show some local knowledge. Knowing a few words in Hebrew does the trick (if you are using another language otherwise). Have I told you that one of the first phrases I learned in Israel was "bli yadayim" - "no hands"? Some swear words are good too, and in the Middle East calling an MCP a pig should also help ("what a pig" is "eize chazir", 'ch' is 'kh' like in Sakhalin). Realising that a foreigner woman learns "no hands" before she learns "I love you" in his native language will get him off the balance, and this is what you need.
  • Continuing the previous point, memorise some 'scary' words, such as 'police' ('mishtarah'), and use them even in a sentence in another language ("After this I'm seriously calling the mishtarah" - and search for your cellphone).
  • If you are from Eastern Europe, use some super-rude Russian swearwords (learn if you have to). Most young Israelis know them from their army colleagues (army again...). Use them mercilessly, in a low-pitched voice, like an old sailor. Practise in front of a mirror before going to a beach/park/mall. Make it look like you see through him.
  • Any "Please, don't"s won't work and will only turn them on - you have to learn to be strict and rude. Tell him you don't find him sexy (even if he would be attractive if he wasn't so aggressive).
  • Don't agree to watch a movie with a stranger or near-stranger at home - in Israel this is a code word.
  • If someone approaches you on the beach (typically) or somewhere else, and you immediately see his intentions, don't tell that you are a recently-arrived expat. Invent a story. Say that you live here with your Israeli girlfriend, or you came to visit your Palestinian boyfriend and just dropped by to Tel Aviv for a day. While it won't necessarily change their attitudes, it's better to tell them that you are Jewish or 50/50, they seem to take a 'no' in a more gentleman type of way in that case. After losing all hope to 'integrate' you through their bed, they may still wish you a successful integration! Mention your aunt who lives in Netanya since early 90s.
  • If the man is Arab, you can try telling him that you are engaged. Also, however liberal in their attitudes, even MCP guys seem to believe that there are some religious people out there, who are not to be messed with. The only time I was hit on by a stubborn Arab guy and refused to stay for the night at his place instead of taking the last bus to Tel Aviv, he asked me if it was 'forbidden' to me. "Yes, forbidden," I said, and he immediately cooled off! Beware: the conflict does not influence them the way you might expect. It won't turn them off automatically even if you wear a massive Star of David in your cleavage.
  • Most importantly: most people in any place are not evil at heart. There may be cases when the guy is annoying and is trying to make an aggressive pass because he is trying to overcome his lack of confidence. There may be cases when he really means that he is interested to talk to you and wants you to trust him. There may be cases when he does not treat you as an object, but really saw you on the beach and immediately liked you, and doesn't want to lose the chance to talk to you. A few (dozens? hundreds?) of miserable MCPs should not spoil your impression of the place you stay in (although it's true that MCP-ism is by large tolerated in Israel due to the dominant militarist-macho culture described by Scheindlin). BUT you should remember: any normal person should understand that you are coping with a cultural shock and all the risks described above. It does not hurt to explain that you have recently arrived and are still figuring out this place and its people, and that you have already had (even if you only heard) some unpleasant encounters with local men. So, it has nothing to do with him, but you just want to feel comfortable and relaxed, so you prefer to stay in a public place or keep a distance. People in Israel are aware of the existence of different cultures, so if the person is ready to listen, he will be able to understand something like, "This is not accepted in our culture, and I need some time to adjust" (actually, it's better to blame more things on culture than it actually influences).
  • Try to find local friends, as basic as it sounds, and ask them to explain you things and take you to places during your first weeks. Consult them if you go on a date. Use the CouchSurfing site's Tel Aviv group if you have no other options (use it anyway - CouchSurfing Israelis are the best).
It is definitely not my aim to demonise Telavivites or Israelis or men or whoever with this blog post. There are many nice people out there. There were cases when I had a great time chatting with people who came up to talk to me on the beach, as well as cases when sensitive and interesting intellectuals proved to be MCPs. My whole point is to help young female expats to, while hoping for the best, prepare for the worst.

So, with this post Wonderland starts a new initiative - the Global MCP Monitor. I will keep an eye on various stories in the countries I have lived in and in the world at large. We will see what conditions and norms produce MCPs in various cultural contexts, what is the 'safe geography' for women in various cities, social acceptance of MCP-ism and how to not only avoid MCPs and defend against them, but also try to change their attitudes (if you have hope in humanity). Men are equally entrapped in the roles imposed on them, and need to be helped out of them. But if they don't want to, it is always good to know your rights and the best strategies to avoid such types. I encourage young female expats to tell their stories (I can publish guest posts) of the trends they have observed in the countries they lived in, and will scan the blogosphere.

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P.S. The author thanks M. and A. for their self-defense lessons.